Hide and Seek a Share: The Ethics of Sharing between Presence and Distance

Abstract

Hiding and sharing things can go together. Haiǁom and other San hunter-gatherers in southern Africa are considered to be a group in which there is a lot of sharing. At the same time, hiding what could be shared is not rare. The ethnographic situation that I explore in this contribution is that of hiding tobacco and other consumables. What happens when Haiǁom divide their tobacco into two pouches, one for sharing with others and one that is kept hidden? I argue that creating presence but also maintaining a degree of distance characterise Haiǁom sharing practices and their way of dealing with numerous sharing demands in everyday interaction. At a comparative theoretical level, I argue that safeguarding minimal interpersonal distance is part of habitualising a performative ethical sense of how to share. In this context, trying to store things is not necessarily considered unethical as long as those who do still continue to be appropriately responsive to the demands made. What is at stake is the learnt judgement of when demands need to be fulfilled and when other responses are in order.